Sitting here, listening to the S/T album and thinking back to when I first bought this album.  I was in the 6th grade, Maiden was the first metal band that I got into.  The rest is history.

1.		"Prowler"
2.		"Sanctuary"
3.		"Remember Tomorrow"
4.		"Running Free"
5.		"Phantom of the Opera"
6.		"Transylvania"
7.		"Strange World"
9.		"Iron Maiden"

Coach Tom, leading the way... yet again.

What was your favorite movie of the summer?

I liked Inception.

Normally, during my guitar warm-ups my strumming hand is leading and my fingers were playing catchup. Today, it seems the opposite.

Sent from my iPhone 4.

The emotions inside are swirling about.  I think about the "what ifs".  Thoughts of relocating, new job, new opportunities, new atmosphere.  I look forward to taking that first step, to see where my travels take me, but then I don't want to leave.  I've made my home here, but I feel empty inside at times.  I feel there should be more to this life, but at times I'm left with uncertainty.  I try to look inward, my mind then is clouded, I lose focus on the goal.  I feel that I need to make sense of it all. 

Looking back, there are things I miss.  I think of being back up north, the changing of the seasons, the smells of being outdoors, feeling the sun shining down on my body, being out with the friends I grew up with, weekends at the lake, then I'm brought back to the world I now know.  I've had trouble sleeping lately, my mind keeps racing, it's hard to calm my thoughts, I think about the "where", then the "what ifs" and "what should be".  Sometimes, to calm myself, I'll just get out of bed, walk downstairs and pick up "Leianna".  At least that's what I call her. 

I can remember walking into the Guitar Center in 2008 and first laying eyes on her.  I was going in to pick up some strings and a set of guitar picks.  I couldn't believe that this kind of guitar could exist.  The extra contours, that SG shape, I felt unworthy when asked if I wanted to sit down and play on it.  I couldn't tell you how many times I'd drive by, stop in just to walk by the display window and my walking by gaze felt like an hour.  The love for this guitar, you'd think that this one would be my "Lenny" (read "The Story").  The gesture that becomes a symbol of love shared between two people and the passion of music that brings them together.  She almost was too.

Toni wanted to buy this guitar for me back in 2009 shortly after we first started hanging out (May).  She went into the Guitar Center with me, she was looking at a drum set, I managed to slip away to walk by that display case again.  She walked up behind me and asked which guitar I was looking at.  I pointed "her" out, she agreed that this guitar was special.  She asked me if I wanted it, she said that she'd buy it for me.  I told her that she didn't have to.  She made her offer again, I declined, respectfully.  It wasn't pride, I just wanted to feel like I could play the guitar first before accepting that guitar as a gift from someone I was briefly dating at the time. 

Besides, I still had my Epiphone SG, which I played off and on when I had the time.  I bought it late 2008.  In the summer of 2009, I started taking guitar lessons.  I've been playing for the last year (off and on), Out of the last 52 weeks, I've maybe made half of those sessions, taking breaks in between weekly sessions at the studio.  I should be taking it more seriously, my instructor sees how fast I'm picking things up.  It's the story of my life, all that talent, but I'll at times lose focus... It's funny, that guitar goes almost everywhere with me.  I'm sure she'll take a couple road trips back up to Nebraska with me.

Flash forward to this past April, the 19th if I remember correctly.  I had just started buying items to decorate my apartment when I drove by the Guitar Center yet again.  I was out running a few errands that day, mainly going out to measure that 55 inch LCD HDTV to see if it would fit into my Civic.  Ha!  Was I wrong on that one...  I stopped in the Guitar Center and saw that guitar on a stand, I picked it up without hesitation and walked it over to the counter.  I told the rep that I wanted to place it on layaway, just so that it wouldn't be on display anymore because I didn't want anyone else to hold or even buy it.  Perhaps jealously took over at that moment...   

That was on a Monday, Tuesday I was thinking all day, did I make the right decision? Should I still buy the TV?  What about the guitar?  Am I skilled enough as a player to have it?  Wednesday I said "fuck it", I went back in, the rep looked at me and had seen the receipt in hand.  I'm sure his first thought was that I changed my mind.  I kindly asked him to pull the guitar from their storage because I was in to pay the balance in full.  He had a surprised look on his face and asked why the purchase vs. keeping it on layaway.  I told him that I really wanted that TV, but I wanted this guitar even more. 

Oh, by the way... the next week, I still bought the TV.  I love the picture on it!

I remember first holding the guitar right after the completed transaction.  Everything just felt right in the world.  I wanted to sit down and just play it, but not when others were watching, I wanted that moment just for me.  So I packed up my guitar and drove home to plug it in to play.  Oh those first few chords, heavenly...  I was trying to think of a name for my guitar.  Jokingly, I call my black Epiphone SG, "Black Betty".  But there's nothing comical about this Gibson SG Diablo.  I didn't come up with the name on my own, rather I had help.  There's a girl (yes, a girl), we've been friends for a couple years... there's been a crush on my part, but I never really let it be known until last year.

I took one look at my guitar and my friend's middle name is what seemed a perfect fit for it.  I've been calling her "Leianna" since.  A beautiful girl, with a beautiful name, for such a guitar.  While the guitar wasn't a gift from a loved one, I'm not regretting buying it for myself.  Maybe I'll have my "Lenny", someday.